A repairman working in my house said “I’m going to get you to like me before I go.” Confused, I said “I like you!” He said “I was talking to your dog.
That time I went to help on the tills and shouted “can anyone help me please ” instead of can I help anyone😭😂
Once a server was reaching to take my plate and I instinctively shook his hand.
When language fails you
When a lady asked if the shoes were bisexual instead of unisex 😂
I went to a Thai massage (the kind that walks on you) and she asked “Are we walking today?” I said “No we drove” 😳
I was on the phone at my job. And instead of asking the customer to hold for a minute I told her “if you’ll just hold me for a moment”
Phone conversations when distracted
I once picked up the phone and meant to say “how can I help you” but it came out “how can I hold you?”
I work as a dispatcher… when ending a call I said “have a good idea” instead of have a good day.🤦♀️………….On MORE than one occasion 😭
In a meeting at work I confidently told 20 people to not forget to change their clocks for Saylight Davings.
When you're committed to your lie
Went and got my clothes from my exs in a suitcase, got on the bus home with it, bus driver asked if I’m going anywhere nice, didn’t wanna say the truth so said yeah Ibiza, then he told me to stay on the bus til the airport stop🤣 I was too embarrassed to come clean so got off at the airport Bus stop and had to walk a 45 min walk home with my suitcase 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
When you no longer want to drive through
My mum was in the kfc drive thru once and messed up her order so badly that she tried to reverse out….but rammed into the speaker instead. Then someone Pulled in behind us so she just had to sit there and face the staff.
Once in a Wendy’s drive-thru I asked for a “6 inch chicken” instead of a “6 piece nugget.” I didn’t finish ordering and drove to another Wendy’s. 🙃
When you're poor at giving condolences
when my friends dog died i said ‘i’m so sorry i hope she’s ok’ it was a very awkward silence after that
I shopped in the kids Nike section for cheap waitressing shoes…when the restaurant got dim my shoes started glowing in the dark
Headphones 🎧 fault
I had headphones in and I thought the cashier asked if I wanted the receipt so I said no thank you.. she said have a great weekend. 😭
New doctor looking at my chart: you had amnesia.” Me: “I did? I don’t remember.” (I wrote amnesia instead of anemia on my health questionnaire).